I paddled out at the cove in Perth last Thursday lunch time on my sup and a surfer old dark guy about 55 year was arguing with another standup guy and yelling at him to leave the water ( that sup guy had been in line up 1 min and hadnt caught a wave ) also only 5-6 surfers out all gumbos apart from 2 average surfers including DICK head who was a very low skill surfer & waves glassy 1-2 ft . The old angry surfer paddled up to me and yelled at me to leave the area I had been 15m away from him and he paddles up to me. He kept yelling at me to leave area and I told he to go away - By the way I have surfed he for 30 years and live just up the 1km road and a local - this guy lives no where close to this spot and I heard lives in Bali - The Dick pulls my leg rope and I fall off into water and the dIck swims into my face at full speed and throws my paddle 10m away from me - I was a black belt in full contact Karate 20 years ago so felt no threat but was just laughing at the amazing stupidity of this poor old man pretending surfer - anyway as any defensive person would do - I put my hand out as he swam full speed at me and into my hand so I pushed he head under water for about 20 seconds and waited for he to stop swimming towards me as he did after losing his breath.
Old man Dick then surfaces and yells at me that I tried to drown him and gets onto his board and paddled up to me full speed and spears his board at my face from 1m away, the board spears off the side of my head and dings his board, if I hadn't have turned my head at the last second the board would have hit me direct in the face. I laugh at old **** face and tell him "thats assault dick" and "I'm off to the Cottesloe police to report you" - The old Man man was scared by that comment and he paddles off to sit 20m away bitchin to the other surfers and 5 minutes paddles in the shore. I keep riding for another hour and no one in the water has any hassle what-so-ever and everyone, about 8 surfers and 2 stand up dudes - gets heaps of fun glassy waves until the sea breeze fills in about 1pm.
I am writing this as I personally was never scared for my own safety as I'm a past black belt in karate and could have easily on 5 or 6 times elbowed him in the face and instantly disabled him - BUT luckily for him I am a man of PEACE- But I am very worried this DICK will attack another rider who does not have my self defence skills and they could get badly hurt by this DICK and his his obvious thoughtless love of spearing surfboards in to other peoples faces.
Also for the record I am disabled rider and only have 30% use of my right arm after badly breaking my shoulder 4 years ago. I sup because I can no longer surf as it is to painful with my damaged shoulder and without the great sport of sup I would have to give up wave riding - I cannot lift my right arm above my waist - so when the DICK pushed me off my stand up into the water I can only swim with 1 arm and I'm pretty much defenceless and pretty hard to get back to my board quickly - hence why he could just paddle quickly on his surfboard to me and spear his board at me as I float in water. I never disclose this injury info as it is my own issue and I still sup and kite to push the keep fit.
If you know this guy please email me - so the Cottesloe cops want talk to him and are worried he will attack another person soon - I reckon a chat to Police and a charge will sort him out.
PEACE to all
Johnnokeys
THAT SUCKS.
feel for you. i have also had a few c@#ks yelling at me at trigg over summer. i always make sure i stay out of their way, AND many times have held back from taking waves as they are in my way and i dont want to hit them when running down the line.
anyhow, i normally do similar and laugh it off. sucks tho when you go out for a bit of fun as it should be and others make it sour.
hope someone finds him or dobs him in.
A surfer at the cove sent me this email a few hours later Thursday arvo -
Hi Johnno, I got to the Cove midday and some angry surfer said you (I think it was you) tried to drown him. He showed me his cracked board caused by your head which made him even angrier. Sounds like there must have been some serious agro out there this morning.
BTW I had a crap sesh as the SWer came in and the swell dropped 15min after I went out :(, I should have stayed at work.
Cheers
Slack
C'mon - why is it always the guys who can't surf with the big mouth. Life is too short to have all this aggression in the water...
Will definitely keep an eye out for that guy. Had a few run ins with grumpy bastards in that area but never that bad. Sounds like you handled a difficult situation well.
well done on the self control, I reckon. Hope you find the miserable &$@//! and if not, I'm sure karma will.
Wow amazing restraint by you well done, think at that stage my carbon paddle may have had to come into dual use for self-defense.
I have lived in Perth for three years now and only had once instance of hassle on the water by an old woman of all people on a longboard at Mettams !!!
Just hope the Police can catch up with this him and have a word before he hurts someone OR gets his face rearranged in the carpark.
There is absolutely no excuse for that sort of behaviour.
Over the years I have come accross similar occurences and nowadays I put it down to one thing.
Guys like this dont like something because it is different. It doesnt matter what it is or when it is, it is different so he hates it. He has to bev like everyone else and do what everyone else is doing.
You are very lucky you weren't seriously hurt. Well done for handling the situation so well.
ET.
If only you were a Karate black belt or something. Oh wait, you are. You told us several times.Select to expand quotemagillamelb said...
[br]
What is it about surfers being so territorial?
Probably because the sup guys have pushed in to an already crowded area and kept pushing until they've now taken over those three breaks in small swells.
Anyway my post is only about a loose dude who is dangerous and a warning to others - If he hassles you go to Cottesloe Cops and they will sort out.
Thanks Johnnokeys for the heads up , we dont need blowins like this in WA.
Hopfully a man in a grey suit will sort him out !
Sounds like a pretty agro surfer, though holding him under for 20seconds really isn't a good idea... Way more legal issues than what he had done by the sounds of it.
I think it's hilarious that he is angry that he has a crack in his board caused by your head!! I mean, what a gronk!! Haha
Select to expand quoteLegion said...
Probably because the sup guys have pushed in to an already crowded area and kept pushing until they've now taken over those three breaks in small swells.
while I doubt that the sup guys have taken over as such, this is a good point and relates to my issues around the ian cairns interview about the level of sup growth he proposes. Crowding is increasing, it's indisputable save for the out of the way breaks and the odd bit of luck, and making sup grow like bu99ery as proposed by kanga and the boys is only going to threaten the pecking order that has taken the last 30 years to evolve since the longboard resurgence. We are going to need another few years for the pecking order to settle itself, with enough suppers being good enough surfers and well-enough mannered to garner respect. Otherwise, the resentment expressed in legion's generalisation/poetic licence is going to result in a lot more conflict in the water.
having said that, it still amuses me when old blokes on mals get stroppy with me picking waves up on a sup when they were quite happy to paddle around me as a grommet in the early 80s when the longboard juggernaut rose from the ashes.....
Saw a younger surfer abusing a known older surfer at Merewether last week. He was saying "I'll ****ing drown you". The older bloke was paddling rings around him, as well as catching waves. In between he was saying "I'm the champ" with a mad grin and his finger in the air, cause he is mad. Funny in one respect, but I found the young bloke sustained pursuit of the older bloke a beyond a joke.
One of the young blokes world rated mates was also dropping in on a young SUP rider, who was not hassling. The Sup rider said he had also been threatened by this guy.
I got out, not for fear, cause I'm the most dangerous bloke in the water, :( , but I go out to enjoy myself, not have a blue.
Select to expand quoteGarethg said...
C'mon - why is it always the guys who can't surf with the big mouth.
That's a bit of a generalisation... many of us that can't surf don't have big mouths. 
Select to expand quoteSailhack said... Garethg said...
C'mon - why is it always the guys who can't surf with the big mouth.
That's a bit of a generalisation... many of us that can't surf don't have big mouths.
Haha it really doesn't matter how good a surfer or supper we are, its all about respect..
Im glad the twit got a fright and i hope the cops will get to chat to him
I surfed 3-4 days a week all of last year at that exact spot and have never come across anything like that. Nor have I anywhere else, but if I do I hope I act the way you did and wont let it ruin my session.
Hope they get him
I think JohnnoKeys fears of repeat behaviour are very real. Remember Johnno has seen a bit of life and seen it from the eyes of high level karat. I trust his assessment. I believe he will strike again and maybe not in the surf. He has what in psychology is called referred anger. That is he brings the anger from his life view into the surf and poor JohnnoKeys is just the easiest trigger for an outburst.
These people are everywhere.
I had a run in with a shortboarder recently that was just plain dangerous. Luckily the karma of the ocean gave me the set waves to 1) annoy him 2) take me away from him 3) i could paddle away and did, telling him i dont need to surf your ****tu closeouts its more fun to surf somewhere you are not.
not what he wanted to hear.
JohnnoKeys I have been playing with a story for years and this story has prompted me to finish writing it.
Do I have your permission to use your story as part of my full article ???
Cheers mate
Stuart Murray
Select to expand quoteSupExplore said...
Do I have your permission to use your story as part of my full article ???
Make sure you put in the bit about him being a Karate Black Belt ...
Select to expand quoteLegion said...SupExplore said...
Do I have your permission to use your story as part of my full article ???
Make sure you put in the bit about him being a Karate Black Belt ...
Still fishing old sausage ???? Maybe you need to change bait
Holding them under until they back off is more that suitable i feel!!
Holding them under trying to get away from you is a different story.
A bit of agro or some words of wisdom wouldn't be so bad if you'd been wave hogging, dropping in or dangerous. Wasn't therre but sounds to me like this guy need's a root and to chill the F#$K out!
Good to know it’s going both ways.
I had a run in with some twat on a SUP a couple of weekends ago out at Mettams. I was paddling on to a wave and he was paddling back out, we were on a direct line but I have always been of the understanding that the onus is on the guy paddling back out to get out of the way. I stayed my line and kept waiting for him to paddle to the inside and get out of my way, he didn’t and at the last second I pulled up and he jumped off his board. I would have let it go without comment but when he got back on his board he growled a “are you f__king serious?” at me, I told him he was in the wrong and we proceeded to exchange several expletives and he gives me a jab in the chest with his paddle. A few more words are exchanged and he tells me I need to head in. I told him where to go and he starts threatening to punch on. I told him I wasn’t interested in getting in a fight over such ****ty waves. He paddles off muttering some crap about people with cameras filming fights or something. After a further 45mins or so of ****ty waves and bad vibes we end up catching the same wave 50m or so apart, me going left and him coming right (that was my other issue with him, when he came out everyone was in between the steps and the drain pipe taking lefts. He paddled out inside everyone and started going right onto their waves). I pull off before there was a collision and followed him in. I told him to paddle in for a chat, telling him he obviously had a problem and that I wanted it sorted. He paddled off talking about how he was there every day, that I was in his bad books and he would see me again.
Select to expand quoteKillbot said...
Good to know it’s going both ways.
I had a run in with some twat on a SUP a couple of weekends ago out at Mettams. I was paddling on to a wave and he was paddling back out, we were on a direct line but I have always been of the understanding that the onus is on the guy paddling back out to get out of the way. I stayed my line and kept waiting for him to paddle to the inside and get out of my way, he didn’t and at the last second I pulled up and he jumped off his board. I would have let it go without comment but when he got back on his board he growled a “are you f__king serious?” at me, I told him he was in the wrong and we proceeded to exchange several expletives and he gives me a jab in the chest with his paddle. A few more words are exchanged and he tells me I need to head in. I told him where to go and he starts threatening to punch on. I told him I wasn’t interested in getting in a fight over such ****ty waves. He paddles off muttering some crap about people with cameras filming fights or something. After a further 45mins or so of ****ty waves and bad vibes we end up catching the same wave 50m or so apart, me going left and him coming right (that was my other issue with him, when he came out everyone was in between the steps and the drain pipe taking lefts. He paddled out inside everyone and started going right onto their waves). I pull off before there was a collision and followed him in. I told him to paddle in for a chat, telling him he obviously had a problem and that I wanted it sorted. He paddled off talking about how he was there every day, that I was in his bad books and he would see me again.
I dont think you are the only one on his hit list tbh
holding someone under water is not cool,two wrongs don't make a right,how do you know he isn't a third dan black belt
