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Well puppy, if you've really got your heart set on Tee's then you're going to need to do some awards, unfortunately, it's not a comp, so what should the awards be for ![]()
I can help with some suggestions and I'll even throw in a few tips from the form guide:
The POLISHED TURD Award
This is awarded to the surfer who embellished a mediocre ride to a point that defies all logic and is baseless in reality.
There are some prerequisites that contestants must adhere to:
The claim must be made prior to the consumption of 1 x bottle of wine or 5 x beers/ciders
There must be at least 2 witnesses that are willing to testify that your ride was indeed, significantly less inspiring than you claim.
the winner will be required to provide their own turd, pre polished. Doggy poo is not an acceptable alternative.
Form guide:
Based on my previous tips arra with Vanders, I believe he's justified in favouritism, example-
Vans - Hey OBs, did you see that ![]()
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OB- See what mate ![]()
Vans - I just scored a head high screamer from the outside, I absolutely smashed is to pieces![]()
OB - sorry, I must have missed it, I don't have my contacts in so I'm staying inside out of harms way, but I'm sure it was awesome ![]()
Vans - what do you mean you "missed it", how could you miss it ![]()
it was double overhead and I was fully shacked inside for 30 seconds to blind dickhead.
OB - I'm really sorry mate, I promise it will never happen again, promise.
Vans - It better not,
because I'm going the have a lot of trouble finding another tripple overhead like that one today
If you're looking for an each-way investment, you may want to put a few bob on MR, I was taking to his missus down in the supermarket recently and she mentioned that he has some peculiar method of measurement whereby he believes that 1 inch actually equals 1 mile.
I assumed she meant that he was good at reading maps, but you never know, he may be prone to exaggerating the size of waves as well
the YOU SCRATCHED MY BOARD YOU DUMB PRICK Award
This award will go to the most board fussy, anally retentive, obsessive compulsive rider. it's intended that the trophy will be cast in a permanently tarnish hue, thus allowing the recipient to waste an inordinate amount of time and effort trying to get it nice and clean.
The hot tip for this category will be Mac, but based on his quiver pics, SA may be the dark horse in the race.
The YOU DROPED IN ON ME YOU STUPID OLD KOOK Award.
Don't even bother to show up for this one, I've got it in the bag, I've already cleared a space on my mantel piece for it ![]()
I dunno Ob,I might give ya a run for ya money on that YOU DROPPED IN ON ME YOU STUPID OLD KOOK award![]()
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Well as it so happens
we might just have tees covered , you'll have to wait and see ![]()
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Order an XL for absent friends![]()
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Well puppy, if you've really got your heart set on Tee's then you're going to need to do some awards, unfortunately, it's not a comp, so what should the awards be for ![]()
I can help with some suggestions and I'll even throw in a few tips from the form guide:
The POLISHED TURD Award
This is awarded to the surfer who embellished a mediocre ride to a point that defies all logic and is baseless in reality.
There are some prerequisites that contestants must adhere to:
The claim must be made prior to the consumption of 1 x bottle of wine or 5 x beers/ciders
There must be at least 2 witnesses that are willing to testify that your ride was indeed, significantly less inspiring than you claim.
the winner will be required to provide their own turd, pre polished. Doggy poo is not an acceptable alternative.
Form guide:
Based on my previous tips arra with Vanders, I believe he's justified in favouritism, example-
Vans - Hey OBs, did you see that ![]()
![]()
OB- See what mate ![]()
Vans - I just scored a head high screamer from the outside, I absolutely smashed is to pieces![]()
OB - sorry, I must have missed it, I don't have my contacts in so I'm staying inside out of harms way, but I'm sure it was awesome ![]()
Vans - what do you mean you "missed it", how could you miss it ![]()
it was double overhead and I was fully shacked inside for 30 seconds to blind dickhead.
OB - I'm really sorry mate, I promise it will never happen again, promise.
Vans - It better not,
because I'm going the have a lot of trouble finding another tripple overhead like that one today
If you're looking for an each-way investment, you may want to put a few bob on MR, I was taking to his missus down in the supermarket recently and she mentioned that he has some peculiar method of measurement whereby he believes that 1 inch actually equals 1 mile.
I assumed she meant that he was good at reading maps, but you never know, he may be prone to exaggerating the size of waves as well
the YOU SCRATCHED MY BOARD YOU DUMB PRICK Award
This award will go to the most board fussy, anally retentive, obsessive compulsive rider. it's intended that the trophy will be cast in a permanently tarnish hue, thus allowing the recipient to waste an inordinate amount of time and effort trying to get it nice and clean.
The hot tip for this category will be Mac, but based on his quiver pics, SA may be the dark horse in the race.
The YOU DROPED IN ON ME YOU STUPID OLD KOOK Award.
Don't even bother to show up for this one, I've got it in the bag, I've already cleared a space on my mantel piece for it ![]()
Pi**ing myself at that Ob. ![]()
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I was going to use MR to confirm wave size for that weekend as I know he copped a few on the head the day after my experience, but as you tell it he doesn't have a credible size estimation record. Actually last time I was talking with his wife she mentioned he likes to exaggerate girth too. ![]()
Vanders, you disappointed me, I was sure you were going to come back with:
" GET IT RIGHT OB
IT WAS QUADRUPLE OVERHEAD
"
I think MR is going to need a bit of love and attention, that's 2 of his so called mates that have cast dispersions on his manhood ![]()
Im out for this trip,when i heard that the crew contained wine wankers i had to resort to an old Colonel Flagg trick and f##k myself up for my own sake and theirs![]()

Vanders, you disappointed me, I was sure you were going to come back with:
" GET IT RIGHT OB
IT WAS QUADRUPLE OVERHEAD
"
I think MR is going to need a bit of love and attention, that's 2 of his so called mates that have cast dispersions on his manhood ![]()
You bunch a Seahunts....
you seem to forget, that weekend wasn't Arra, it was Plomer.... and, I did see that wave Vanders was talking about, because I got the next one while you OB were trying to suck the water out of your ears.....only trouble was, I misjudged the take off and ended up doing a flying W right in front of that little suck up.... If I remember rightly, I was having a go on your Munoz back when you thought you'd never ride a PU board again. ![]()
AND why do you think I married a girl with small hands?
I won't require any love as such, from either of you. But, if you want to offer some kind of attention after that little outburst, I'll have a Negroni on ice withalittleumbrellainnit...
Also, I'll have my new girlfriend with me, so hopefully Huey will play the game.
Sorry you're not going to make it Ricardo, although you surely can drink with your left, right?
Im out for this trip,when i heard that the crew contained wine wankers i had to resort to an old Colonel Flagg trick and f##k myself up for my own sake and theirs![]()

Thats no good mate,what did you do and all the best for a speedy recovery.
Im out for this trip,when i heard that the crew contained wine wankers i had to resort to an old Colonel Flagg trick and f##k myself up for my own sake and theirs![]()

Ok Al you're off the hook this time as beer wench, we've just found our new one. ![]()
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Hope it comes good soon mate.
No no MR, you've got all your trips wrong, have you got a touch of that old timers disease![]()
I don't think Vanders was at Plomer when you took the Munoz for a spin, and did that in depth study of the rock shelf, it was the woopi weekend when Vander left in the arvo and then you turned up on your way to the goldy.
I told you how Vanders kept banging on about how good this wave was out the back, and he could not believe I missed it.
We went out the next day and it was still pumping, I stayed on the inside again and you paddled out to the far point. Next thing I know, you're beside me again on the inside and looking very subdued, to say the least. As I remember, the exchange went as follows.
MR- (in an undertone) Remember that wave Vanders was talking to you about yesterday.
OB - (eyes rolling) remember it??? the bugger would not shut up about it. he was well pissed that I did not see it. Why you asking![]()
MR- (still managing to hold it together) It's possible that he may have understated the size
OB- What![]()
MR - As I was going out the back a rogue one came through on the outside and cleaned me up, that's why I'm back here so quick, big hold down, I thought I was a gonner, they're big.
Now I will admit that you did manage to hold your composure throughout our exchange, however, there was a very unpleasant odour in the air after that, and I don't recall you ever wearing that wetty again.![]()
You must remember that weekend, It was the one where you picked out that very pleasant Merlot for me to take to that dinner.
yeah be out 4-6 weeks surgery for tendon contracture,looks like waves could be good but i can't drive till next week or so although i can drink left handed,ill be looking forward to reports and photos as they happen,if you come across a lady getting too many waves at arra feel free to drop in on her she loves party waves ![]()

Forget about surfing, an injury like that would ruin my sex life ![]()
Oh wait! I'm right handed ![]()
Forget it, I'm all good ![]()
Im out for this trip,when i heard that the crew contained wine wankers i had to resort to an old Colonel Flagg trick and f##k myself up for my own sake and theirs![]()

Ok Al you're off the hook this time as beer wench, we've just found our new one. ![]()
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Hope it comes good soon mate.
Phew,glad I don't have to do it 2 years running![]()
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Yeah bit of a shame Ricardo,hope ya have a speedy recovery mate!...
No 3 days to go poster from Pupstar today as yet !! ![]()
Yeah,caaarn Pup![]()
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I could be bringing a BIG surprise up with me in the wagon![]()
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No no MR, you've got all your trips wrong, have you got a touch of that old timers disease![]()
I don't think Vanders was at Plomer when you took the Munoz for a spin, and did that in depth study of the rock shelf, it was the woopi weekend when Vander left in the arvo and then you turned up on your way to the goldy.
I told you how Vanders kept banging on about how good this wave was out the back, and he could not believe I missed it.
We went out the next day and it was still pumping, I stayed on the inside again and you paddled out to the far point. Next thing I know, you're beside me again on the inside and looking very subdued, to say the least. As I remember, the exchange went as follows.
MR- (in an undertone) Remember that wave Vanders was talking to you about yesterday.
OB - (eyes rolling) remember it??? the bugger would not shut up about it. he was well pissed that I did not see it. Why you asking![]()
MR- (still managing to hold it together) It's possible that he may have understated the size
OB- What![]()
MR - As I was going out the back a rogue one came through on the outside and cleaned me up, that's why I'm back here so quick, big hold down, I thought I was a gonner, they're big.
Now I will admit that you did manage to hold your composure throughout our exchange, however, there was a very unpleasant odour in the air after that, and I don't recall you ever wearing that wetty again.![]()
You must remember that weekend, It was the one where you picked out that very pleasant Merlot for me to take to that dinner.
Ah Sheeit.... must be getting old and forgetful. That was the same weekend your other board, thingy ummmm white one fell off the roof because you didn't tie it on in your rush to get me back to the camp so I could go visit my son. That was feckin 4 years ago.... how am I supposed to remember that? I had me Father In Law's Transporter then.... \
Feck, that's still a good story though.
Now the mechanic tells me the Touareg "may" not be ready.... I've booked my ticket to the Goldy for Thursday.... if the car's not ready I might get a lift with Vanders with my boards to Woopi, then go back with him Sunday... Cross your fingers or summint.....Got room for two more 10+ footers Vanders?
If there's a problem, I could take the boards back to Sydney while you went back up north with Vanders. But then I know that you would definitely want to ride them on you way down south again.
Do you want me to throw the big 3 board straps in the car?
Pray for a miracle and bring your best onshore board folks !
....damn, that Friday wind has changed a full 180 degrees from perfect to ****e.


Pray for a miracle and bring your best onshore board folks !
....damn, that Friday wind has changed a full 180 degrees from perfect to ****e.


That's a shame, although I do recall me and MR surfing A in those winds just after a morning comp one November, we were the only ones who bothered and we both bagged a covey of waves and had a good time.
A lot of the northern ends up there are a bit harder to get to. But we do have a lot of eyes, wheels and phones to find something with.
Back Beach woopi, North Mullaway, south side of flattop, back emerald are all possible.
What I was promised 2 meters of pumping A geez oh well I've got 2 hands to drink but it won't be wine.
What I was promised 2 meters of pumping A geez oh well I've got 2 hands to drink but it won't be wine.
Youll have a great time
Choose surfing![]()
What I was promised 2 meters of pumping A geez oh well I've got 2 hands to drink but it won't be wine.
Youll have a great time
Choose surfing![]()
How awesome to see you back Lacey![]()
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have been a bit inactive of late, but I have to say that it is good to see the old LL in the Greenroom again.
ET.![]()
What I was promised 2 meters of pumping A geez oh well I've got 2 hands to drink but it won't be wine.
Youll have a great time
Choose surfing![]()
How awesome to see you back Lacey![]()
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have been a bit inactive of late, but I have to say that it is good to see the old LL in the Greenroom again.
ET.![]()
Thxs et.
Hope your going well.
Mac been digging me![]()
So there might be some 2m swell meaty backbeach wedges on offer?
Choose surfing![]()
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