wait a second supliz ol pal...whilst all this grass business is going on with your kite, what's been happening in the meantime with your board? Plonked down in the dirty sand or did the board butler deal with it?
i was gonna raise the issue about the board in the next thread
but seriously, the board is safe and sound in the other hand 
Hey Superliz you have given me a great idea for a new business.
I am going to call it 'Kite Nanny'. This is where I train people to land kites and provide a level of service that you are after. I was thinking of charging $10/landing with a full money back guarantee if my trained 'Kite Nanny's" did not deliver on your specific brief.
I am likely to go bust pretty quickly as I think you wouldn't even be willing to pay for someone to do exactly what it is you want them to with your kite but worth a shot???.What do you think will you be my first customer?
BTW: They will also suck up to you in a manner no one else will and tell you how great a kiter you are! Thats for free. Just part of the service.
Select to expand quotekitebt said..
Hey Superliz you have given me a great idea for a new business.
I am going to call it 'Kite Nanny'. This is where I train people to land kites and provide a level of service that you are after. I was thinking of charging $10/landing with a full money back guarantee if my trained 'Kite Nanny's" did not deliver on your specific brief.
I am likely to go bust pretty quickly as I think you wouldn't even be willing to pay for someone to do exactly what it is you want them to with your kite but worth a shot???.What do you think will you be my first customer?
BTW: They will also suck up to you in a manner no one else will and tell you how great a kiter you are! Thats for free. Just part of the service.
We need this guy
Select to expand quotesuperlizard said..
Dear newbies, when you land someone's kite, it's always appreciated.
If you are landing a kite, and you grab the kite, and you are standing 2 meters from a grassy area, please put the kite on the GRASS instead of sand, and the other kiter will appreciate it and think VERY HIGHLY of you.
On many beaches there is only sand so naturally there are no options but to land kite on the sand.
But kites often get wet, and if the beach contains grassy areas where the kites are beeing landed, it really helps keep the kite clean and happy when it's landed on the grass instead of sand. Putting wet kite on sand creates a whole load of mess on the kite and causes grief for everyone.
This has been posted in the past, but I notice this season many people land one's kite direct on sand even though the grass area is immediately next to them.
hahahaha are you serious?!?! wow, mate if i land your kite and you say anything but thanks mate im going to grab a steering line and give it a quick tug :P
but seriously once i catch a kite i roll it on the ground where i caught it and sometimes ill wait for old mate to walk up sometimes i wont.
if theres lines or hazards like that in the way i just simply wont stand where you want your kite landed. ill stand where its safest to be landed do the little teapot with my noggin dance untill you bring your kite to me.
learn to self land. if you cant self and then you are not an independent kitesurfer.
Select to expand quoteKozzie said..
learn to self land. if you cant self and then you are not an independent kitesurfer.
Not always possible dude. Altona is a very small beach on high tide and anyone self landing there (and I have seen them do it) needs a swift kick to the testicles.
What ****s me is when you are helping some dude launch (usually an overpowered kite in heavy conditions) you hold his kite up and then he starts walking towards you!! This starts forcing you backwards and then you realise the numb nuts has not fully inflated the bladder when WHAM the whole thing bends in half and wraps you in a salty embrace. THAT gives me anger management issues right there.
DONT WALK TOWARDS THE GUY HOLDING YOUR KITE WHEN LAUNCHING IT
Right, off to pick the sand out of my vag then.
Select to expand quotekitebt said..
Hey Superliz you have given me a great idea for a new business.
I am going to call it 'Kite Nanny'. This is where I train people to land kites and provide a level of service that you are after. I was thinking of charging $10/landing with a full money back guarantee if my trained 'Kite Nanny's" did not deliver on your specific brief.
I am likely to go bust pretty quickly as I think you wouldn't even be willing to pay for someone to do exactly what it is you want them to with your kite but worth a shot???.What do you think will you be my first customer?
BTW: They will also suck up to you in a manner no one else will and tell you how great a kiter you are! Thats for free. Just part of the service.
Charge $10/landing for sand (normal service) and $15/landing for grass (premium service).
Select to expand quotekitebt said..
Hey Superliz you have given me a great idea for a new business.
I am going to call it 'Kite Nanny'. This is where I train people to land kites and provide a level of service that you are after. I was thinking of charging $10/landing with a full money back guarantee if my trained 'Kite Nanny's" did not deliver on your specific brief.
I am likely to go bust pretty quickly as I think you wouldn't even be willing to pay for someone to do exactly what it is you want them to with your kite but worth a shot???.What do you think will you be my first customer?
BTW: They will also suck up to you in a manner no one else will and tell you how great a kiter you are! Thats for free. Just part of the service.
... sounds like a funny idea but our local groms started a service similar only taking it further and started to earn some good money too!
How many times have you been too stuffed or just couldn't be bothered so a couple of bucks for a simple pump up or what ever, stuff like:
-pump up kite
-pack up kite
-run lines out
-grab another board
-launching
-landing
-washing gear
-grab eski from car
- etc etc misc on the spot job with agreed fee
-combo deals with discount for multiple jobs
- (my favorite) full servies which is all of the above
Lasted for a while but they got the sh!ts as it interfeared with kiting time so they gave up (bloody kids nowadays hey!).
Mum and Dad of either grom used to get serious discounts and when they argued it became free (little sh!ts get expensive kites and boards, the least they can do is a little pump up or so hey), probably one of the reasons they gave up.
cheers,
Robbie 
ps taught them how to handle other brands of kites too, was a bit of education thing too
Select to expand quotejunglist said..Kozzie said..
learn to self land. if you cant self and then you are not an independent kitesurfer.
Not always possible dude. Altona is a very small beach on high tide and anyone self landing there (and I have seen them do it) needs a swift kick to the testicles.
What ****s me is when you are helping some dude launch (usually an overpowered kite in heavy conditions) you hold his kite up and then he starts walking towards you!! This starts forcing you backwards and then you realise the numb nuts has not fully inflated the bladder when WHAM the whole thing bends in half and wraps you in a salty embrace. THAT gives me anger management issues right there.
DONT WALK TOWARDS THE GUY HOLDING YOUR KITE WHEN LAUNCHING IT
Right, off to pick the sand out of my vag then.
i can self land on a ****ing dime mate and everyone else who knows how to safely self land can aswell. i dont want to hear about your magical spot where you think its not possible. are you seriously telling me that if you know what your doing safely you should be punished?!? people like you guys are exactly why i never let anyone touch my paraglider or my kites. second one of you muppets get a hold of it you do something you think in your infinite wisdom is correct.
i have done more kiting alone (literally on my own islands with no one else around at all) then with other kiters. you learn pretty quick how to be independent when its your only chance of survival. i really dont understand what some of you peanuts in these over populated citys are even on about half the time. its ****ing embarrassing. half of you **** yourself if theres more then 30 kites in the air and yas think a 30m beach is to small.
i havent been to altona but ive seen enough photos to know it would take 2? maybe 3? of you peanuts to start launching and landing out in the water rather then this **** your on about all the time. if you really gave a **** about safety go cry about that. locals and there local rules allways crack me up. just do the safest thing possible and thats it end of story. honestly if you think altona is some super difficult spot your a super inexperienced kiter. go learn to self land properly put your own kite where you want it to land and try not to hurt yourself okay diddums.
^^^^i think you go kiting on your own for a reason Kozzie, nice rant, how many islands do you own fella ?
Why do crew get so worked up, its ok, settle down, have a nice day, ha ha
PS if you dont like sand on your kite, fly it indoors.
I used to think Altona was a difficult spot for launching. Then I went to Perth and launched from Pelican Point. Oh boy. No room at all, trees everywhere, a stone wall 1m from the waterline. When the sun set everyone landed nearly at the same time creating a nice Gordian knot of kite lines. Still good fun once you're on the water and nice people around.
Select to expand quoteKozzie said..
i have done more kiting alone
hmmmm I wonder why?
Select to expand quotedusta said..Gorgo said..
2. I always land my kites dry and I usually self-launch and land. I only use a catcher if conditions are extreme and there's somebody around to help. I hate getting sand on my kites because it makes them dirty and causes unnecessary wear and tear.
what kind of sand do you have in victoria ? Mud ?
i have never heard of sand making a kite dirty . As for wear and tear well as long as there are no foreign objects in the sand i call bollox on that unless you have the same kite for 20 years
bollocks
Select to expand quotethe gibbo said..
^^^^i think you go kiting on your own for a reason Kozzie, nice rant, how many islands do you own fella ?
Why do crew get so worked up, its ok, settle down, have a nice day, ha ha
PS if you dont like sand on your kite, fly it indoors.
i own every island upto the high tide mark matey
Select to expand quoteswinginginthewind said..
Kozzie said..
i have done more kiting alone
hmmmm I wonder why?
am i ment to answer this or are you?
because if your answer is that the company i work for only seems to win work in desolate locations because that seems to be where ......your answer isnt that is it? its probably more like one hound claping in the forest and it falls does anyone give a **** go be a philisophical ****nuckle somewhere else phyrros you never ending question answering but asking locomotional doo wop wop nonsense
Select to expand quoteKIT33R said..kitebt said..
Hey Superliz you have given me a great idea for a new business.
I am going to call it 'Kite Nanny'. This is where I train people to land kites and provide a level of service that you are after. I was thinking of charging $10/landing with a full money back guarantee if my trained 'Kite Nanny's" did not deliver on your specific brief.
I am likely to go bust pretty quickly as I think you wouldn't even be willing to pay for someone to do exactly what it is you want them to with your kite but worth a shot???.What do you think will you be my first customer?
BTW: They will also suck up to you in a manner no one else will and tell you how great a kiter you are! Thats for free. Just part of the service.
We need this guy?rel=0
Nah... he specialises in launching, landing is just not his thing. Doesnt do it.
who ever started this thread has two dicks!
You don't get that stupid playing with one.
Select to expand quotestabber said..
who ever started this thread has two dicks!
You don't get that stupid playing with one.
hahhahaha all these years and never heard that one cheers for that :D
i tell my daughter to say that to the wankers at her school giving her sh!t, problem is, its a private Christian school .....and shes only 6 years old.
Back on topic ?, when we can , we all up here catch , hold , disconnect kite , walk to grass, no contact with beach/shells/sand/sticks.
pretty simple look after each other.
I like to ask a random bikini on the beach if she's ever landed a kite and after a quick induction fly the kite just above her head and enjoy the view as she reaches for the leading edge...
Or, just land the kite yourself. Plenty of YouTube footage on how to do this safely.
Superlizard, you remind me of the time I got instructed to hold the kite - I'd landed for some random - so he could untie his lines and keep kite sans sand....!
Whaaaat!
I put my kites away wet and sandy often and generally update about every five years, not because the kite is worn away from sand abrasion, just because of...well peer pressure mostly.
Disconnecting and walking to the grass is a bit much, but I think catch and hold while the kiter runs up and takes it from you seems to tick all the boxes.
The kite gets caught and held away from sand, dirt, sticks, rocks.
It takes very little skill or initiative from the catcher. Simply Grab it, catch it, hold it (to paraphrase a legendary Australian song title.)
The kiter runs up and says thanks and you might exchange a few words about the conditions and the babes on the beach.
I like to think of every kite landing as a celebration. I smash a few plates on the ground greek wedding style and then place the kite on top. That's ok, right?
Heheh,
Someone posted about walking forward. I agree, don't walk forward at all while launching or landing. Stand firm. I'm not big on running up and over the dunes through the shrubs, or getting waste deep in the water when I'm still in my jeans.
Landing on sand is fine, can always pack down on grass.
