Kiwi Joke

An Aussie and a Kiwi were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer.
After a while the Kiwi says to the Aussie,
'If I was to sneak over to your house and shag your wife while you were off windsurfing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?'
'The Aussie crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, 'Well, I don't know about being related, but it would make us even.'

what no sheep involved... when I heard it , it was the other way around, but try this one on for size..my apologies to anyone called Frank Feldman

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just
like Frank.'

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the Time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like
That to Frank Feldman every single time.'

Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have Won
the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an Opera
baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him
play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special

Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer . Could
Remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me.

I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he
could do everything right.'

Passenger. 'Wow, some guy then.'

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
Traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he
never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel
good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and
his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - he was the
perfect man. He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to
Frank Feldman .'

Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his f@#cking
widow.'