After a quick little poley v. teabagger one on one with Idiot I thought this would be apt. Dangle away guys
I was just coming up the escalator with my mast and wouldn't you know it, now I can't get the damn thing out.
Feral hippie chicks practice climbing trees for next logging season - and make some cash on the side too
after losing her job at the men's gallery, crystal has a hard time adjusting to her new career as lift attendant at the hyatt
Miss Prendergast, the librarian, was always a hit with the Dads at parent-teacher evening
After a very stressful calendar launch my mother wouldnt go without her 'glass' of red wine
True story
umm, i didn't know that cameras were allowed in the crazy horse mens club in surfers paradise! 
isn't that siobon the secretary! 
(stage name of course)
My boy friend Bob said when it was windy I had to hang onto this post to stop the ceiling coming of the room whilst he's out sailing
[Courtesy of Choco]
For homework, a class in NSW were asked to draw their parents at work.
This is Jessica's drawing:
Here's the letter the teacher received the next day:
Dear Mrs. Jackson,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Bunnings and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week after the floods hit.
I told her we sold out every single shovel we had and then I found one more in stock and several people were fighting over who would get it.
Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last shovel we had in the store.
From now on I will remember to check her homework before she hands it in.
Marys play closet was full of wonderful mystical toys, fairy lights, wizard glasses etc, so why does she keep asking for a Goblin ?
Even though Frodo knew it was a trap, he found himself gob smacked and strangely drawn into the evil lair of the dangerous single drinking girl.......
