Never thought I'd see the day when a the words feminist and right wing are used in the same sentence
Smooch,
can you seriously tell me you have never made, laughed at, smiled at etc a sexist joke? Like the list of things some chick wrote up and people emailed it around.... makes fun of men cos we leave the toilet seat up and can't cook etc etc.... or the other email joke with the list of women's rules for men to comply with.
You must disagree totally with the column in one of the ladies mag's called "mere male" when women send in (en masse, might I add) little anecdotes of silly mistakes their male relatives/ partners have made? In order to be consistent by the way, you must get furious about the next page where people send in short stories taking the p!ss out of their little kid's blunders)
If so, I pity you (serious: not joking here) if you are so uptight that a bit of banter really upsets you so much.
I have never seen anything on this forum from a bloke saying chicks are no good as windsurfers - only the odd joke not related to windsurfing - and as there is more men here then there will be more jokes by blokes, right?
I'd love to see 100 female members of this forum posting jokes making fun of men.
Iceman, that's a nice little story, (chuckle). I'll lift it for my keepers file if I may.
Keep it up Smooch. I love your posts. 
(edit) I don't know what your definition of a "troll" might be Elmo but surely it doesn't include everyone with an axe to grind. As for anonymity half the people who post here hide their identities. Smooch would be nuts to reveal her id.
Smooch is on a mission and as long as she's not boring I'm ok with that.
Oh GOD smooch loosen up! You're giving me, as a fellow female, a bad name (if you are female as it seems).
What did your marriage not work? Are you unhappily married? What is with your continual opinions...!? Can you not let go of your 'husband', 'partner' or whatever they are to go and sail?
You obviously aren't a kiter, surfer or windsurfer, otherwise YOU would understand the humor in their discussion and the understanding and characteristics of what a successful kiter/ windy/ surfers relationship consists of!
Lighten up darlin
)
I gave up sailboarding 7 years ago when my boy was born, now that he is old enough and he has his own board, another male to join the club, we spend as much time on the water as we can, my wife (she who is in charge) who only likes to get wet in the shower would not dream of getting between us and our sport, so long as we get all our chores done. So my advise to all you males get yours chores done and go sailing
I have just received this insulting, sexist email. It has gone around the office.
Guys, probably best you don't read any further. I'm going to hit the 'Report Inappropriate Content' button on this post as soon as I post it.
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee , read free paper.
3) 15 minutes later, write a cheque and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change: $40.00
Coffee: $2.00
Total: $42.00
Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a cheque for $50.00.
2) Stop by the Bottle Shop and buy a slab of beer, write a cheque for $40, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under caravan.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Curse and swear.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly, hide old oil filter among rubbish in wheely bin to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18) Dump first litre of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first litre of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin swearing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Swear for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Cleanup hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh litres of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35) Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car is impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2400.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $40.00
Total: $4,085.00
But you know the job was done right!
Should the next big Seabreeze competition, as in one with a prize be:
"Who Is Brucie?"
You have to find Brucie's actual, real name and address.
Obviously he needs to delete any reference to beer in this procedure. Others will likely disagree, but tools and beer lead to big expensive mistakes. Even without beer I've managed to break and deglove (pull the flesh off) my finger doing mechanical work.
I doubt you could get any professional to to change oil and filter for $40 though.
I saw a similar joke procedure about getting money out of an ATM but went in the other direction.
