I've been humming and harring about joining this Australian forum for a while, but as I'm such a night owl and keep a whole manner of unsociable hours, I thought I should give it a go and see how the time difference works out.
My initial post just a day or so ago outlining my need for a new sailing buddy was intended to be a humourous introduction.
it didn't quite go down as well as I'd hoped with the mods thinking I was spamming, but that's ok, I'm back after explaining I'm just a regular joe with nothing to sell or flog or whatnot.
unless someone wants to buy some old rope. I've got lots of that.
SO, as a recently be-singled (I sacked him for being utterly useless on a boat, especially when it comes to providing some decent bacon) British lass, I'm looking for a new sailing buddy or buddette.
I'm guessing there's a fair few on here that might be temporarily living in London or southern UK. I dunno. I've certainly worked with a heck of a lot of Aussies in London and around the southcoast UK
a bit of backstory:
I was so miffed about my recent summer holiday almost being ruined I wrote a slightly humourous blog post all about it. (I've kept a blog for years about my adventures living on a boat - its mostly read by my mum so she can keep track of where I am)
Now I'm not sure if I'm allowed to share my occasional stories on here, if I copy and paste the whole story, it's flipping long and likely to be abit of a mess.
I have an unconvetional life of living on a 36' sailboat/yacht called Boogie Nights with just a chihuahua for company. SO you can imagine I have some funny stories to tell sometimes.
AM I allowed to share stuff I've written for fun, for pure entertainment purposes? What's the best way to do it?
I'm an adventure journalist by trade but I now teach others at a university on the southcoast UK and I simply write for fun other than the odd bit of freelance work which is kept private.
(I used to work on a motorbike mag, cycling mags and a group equestrian magazines as well as still freelancing for yachting mags)
My user name comes from the fact I have a picture of Marilyn Monroe on the main bulkhead of my boat, and one of the films she is known for is The Misfits.
erm, sorry for the lengthy second/first post, but that's me in a nutshell.
I can repost the s-p-o-o-f/comedy "wanted sailing companion" post again if I can remember roughly what I wrote.
otherwise I'm open for guidance on how to conduct my bad self on this forum.
cheers
Jayne
crikey, the forum doesn'y like the word s-p-o-o-f, which means tongue in cheek, silly, making fun of. it stars it out.
I didn't think that could be offensive.
I think a few of us understood what you were writing, but maybe some others took it as something different. Maybe it takes a sense of humour to understand what you were saying, and people interpreted it literally.
Either way, now that you have explained who you are, I am sure you will have no problem.
I'm not sure you will find too many Aussies reading this forum who are also in the UK. Its COLD there! Here, it is a beautiful balmy 20 something degrees, and hopefully windy (at least today).
Oh yeah, as far as the word not passing the filter in this forum, its just another one of those words that change between different cultures. Sadly a lot of people here would not understand your use of it and more than likely think of this one:http://www.slang-dictionary.org/australian-slang/S****
ha ha, ok, I've never heard of that word being used in that way. Never realised it could be slang!
though I can be pretty creative when it comes to words.
I have a feeling this is going to be a fun process learning a whole new set of naughty words.
In fact it's inspiring me for a future blog post.
I'm currently creating one about my new Australian underwear from Bonds and how they've my life that "little" bit better.
Ha ha, that first post was a crack up! Same as your blog.
I never really thought about the "Aussie" meaning of that word whilst I was reading your post, I wouldn't think it'd be an issue thought plenty of people here might also use it to describe movies like "naked gun" etc.
As for the sailing buddy situation, if you were to sail Boogie Nights to Aus, you'll have plenty to choose from I'm sure. I'll be the funny looking one at the front of the line.
Failing that maybe post something on the sailing forum on here too. Many of them are boat owners/sailors like yourself, who like doing passage sailing. You might get lucky and find someone travelling to the UK, I don't think many of them frequent the general forums on here though. I couldn't tell you which of them are capable of cooking something more enticing than a can of baked beans on burnt toast though...
Select to expand quoteTheMisfit said..
I've been humming and harring about joining this Australian forum for a while, but as I'm such a night owl and keep a whole manner of unsociable hours, I thought I should give it a go and see how the time difference works out.
Try posting in the sailing section of the forum. We have a few gals there with their own yachts. It is also a very civilised place with an amazing "brains trust" that can answer most any tech question you may have.
It is mostly cruising yacht oriented in character. Cheers Cisco.
I'll just move this on over to the sailing section, it's probably going to do better here.
Perhaps I should repeat my original post with my wanted ad that got deleted mistakenly. ..
It addresses all if those issues/questions with aplomb.
Select to expand quoteTheMisfit said..
AM I allowed to share stuff I've written for fun, for pure entertainment purposes? What's the best way to do it?
Of course you are. Just keep it within the rules that you will find here www.seabreeze.com.au/Members/Help/ForumRules.aspx and you wont have any problem.
Misfit.......we're Australian sailboat enthusiasts........we don't have a sense of humour!!!.
I just have to work out whats funny to the Australian folks and whats not.
I have a very British dry, acerbic wit, with a self deprecating sense of humour.
Im not sure its appreciated in all its subtlety, or lack thereof
Dear Miss Fit. Don't bother trying to work us out.....Just let rip with your humour.......we'll get it.
Select to expand quotesamsturdy said..
Dear Miss Fit. Don't bother trying to work us out.....Just let rip with your humour.......we'll get it.
all good in fun and jest Miss fit 
But South Ace is a nice guy just the same
I read your original post, ( didn't realise it had been vaporised), and assumed you were a bloke, principally because of your self avowed proficiency on the flatulette. It occured to me at the time that whilst your humour was up my alley an ideal team we would not be as I myself am prone, too weak, am a supremo and the vessel would be at risk of immolation unless strict operating procedures were enacted when lighting stoves.
At the time I was ready to look at any option including returning to the UK but have since taken on a job running charters in the Yasawas on a charter boat. The job is going to entail a good deal of control of the O ring oboe for fear of offending guests. Fortunately I'm blessed with decades of experience and can regulate volume. To boot they rarely stink so I'm not going to be overly stressed out!
Anyhow welcome to the forum. I'm an avid kite boarder as well as sailor but have long since given away visiting the Kite Boarding forum as it appears to have been overwhelmed by onanists, narcissists and egomaniacs who also overflow into the general discussion forum making it entertaining if taken in light doses.
Heavy Weather is great for exposing the narrowness of people's opinions but you won't be allowed in there as you're still pubescent in your Seabreeze experience. The moderators saw fit to limit access to members, ( they did not want the general public exposed to the rabid vitriol which occurs from time to time) and then narrowed it down to members with x many posts owing to our Yo Yoing troll Milsy who uses it to let off steam whilst coming down and was inclined to regenerate his avatar whenever he was banned.
You will find a lot of help, interesting stuff and entertainment here.
Welcome!
Select to expand quotejapie said..
I read your original post, ( didn't realise it had been vaporised), and assumed you were a bloke, principally because of your self avowed proficiency on the flatulette. It occured to me at the time that whilst your humour was up my alley an ideal team we would not be as I myself am prone, too weak, am a supremo and the vessel would be at risk of immolation unless strict operating procedures were enacted when lighting stoves.
At the time I was ready to look at any option including returning to the UK but have since taken on a job running charters in the Yasawas on a charter boat. The job is going to entail a good deal of control of the O ring oboe for fear of offending guests. Fortunately I'm blessed with decades of experience and can regulate volume. To boot they rarely stink so I'm not going to be overly stressed out!
Anyhow welcome to the forum. I'm an avid kite boarder as well as sailor but have long since given away visiting the Kite Boarding forum as it appears to have been overwhelmed by onanists, narcissists and egomaniacs who also overflow into the general discussion forum making it entertaining if taken in light doses.
Heavy Weather is great for exposing the narrowness of people's opinions but you won't be allowed in there as you're still pubescent in your Seabreeze experience. The moderators saw fit to limit access to members, ( they did not want the general public exposed to the rabid vitriol which occurs from time to time) and then narrowed it down to members with x many posts owing to our Yo Yoing troll Milsy who uses it to let off steam whilst coming down and was inclined to regenerate his avatar whenever he was banned.
You will find a lot of help, interesting stuff and entertainment here.
Welcome!
About time you got a real job Japie
Hope your well and happy
Yes all good HG. Went through a really bad period when my last Taylor's burner carked it and I had to buy a cheap Chinese wick stove to cook on whilst I waited on parts from Taylor's. Turned the inside of the cabin a dull shade of soot. F?ck knows what it did to my lungs but all good now.
This new boat, well it's not new, check it out here: www.adventuresailingfiji.com.fj/
is presenting a new challenge. Have been acquainting myself with her over the past two weeks. Under the floor boards is spaghetti junction with pipes and electrics but she seems fairly sound. Has two virtually brand new 48hp Volvos which I should be able to rely on to get me out of trouble which is more than I can say for Minke.
Sailed from Suva to Nadi two weeks ago and had a major balls up. Went to tighten the fan belt before sailing one morning and bust the alternator mounting bolts. When I found a set of easy outs I put too much pressure on and cracked the lug off the engine casing leaving a hole into the inner sanctum!
That put paid to any motoring and I had to wait a day and a half for the wind to change for me to get out of Likuri Harbour. Sailed up to the Navula passage and got through just before the wind did a vanishing act. Stroke of luck because without a motor I could well have been surfing on Cloudbreak. That was about 20:30. Took me the whole night to get to Denarau on what has to be an all time record for the logest time for that stretch.
I actually burned up five liters of petrol towing her the last 3nm with my dinghy and 3hp yamaha much to the amusement of sundry ferry's and passengers hitting the busy spot just after daybreak!
Has its positives though. Whilst I was thinking about taking the Kubota out altogether and sticking an outboard on the back I've now decided to remove the Kubota to get it rebuilt. When the engine is out I've got to get her surveyed to import her and without an engine the value will be considerably less, I'm hoping, which should reduce the import duty considerably.
What is it Cisco is fond of pointing out? BOAT Bring Out Another Thousand!!!!
I'm mistaken for a man frequently.
not in person I should add, but because I've spent years writing for lads mags my writing style and actually my own style is quite "male humour"
I think its got more to do with growing up in an engineering family actually.
I've been lucky as on one hand, my grandmother taught me to sew, knit, cultivate plants and be creative, my grandad showed me how to brew beer and passed on his love of fast cars and my dad taught me how to strip down various engines, use as lathe and how to solder electrics from the age of 4.
My mother bascially made sure I made it this far!
As for the heavy weather section, whilst I have a mild curiousity to know what's considered worth keeping folks out until they mature on the forum I'm not particularly interested in "rabid vitriol" so I'll probably steer clear of that.
as for looking for a sailing buddy, it was simply a jape about the jettisoned 100kg of uselessness that is the last one. (that includes him, his aging paunch and his bags)
my co-skipper from last years offshore race has gone off and bought her own boat, found a lovely new american boyfriend and is currently sailing towards the Caribbean having quit her job to do so.
I moved round from the east coast to the south coast uk just over a year ago and it's been hard finding people to sail with me. Not because I'm a bad person, but I find it hard to mix with the sailing people down here and it's a lot less friendly than the east.
UK southern sailors fall into categories: regatta racers (Im not one of those), people who never leave the solent area (Im not one of those), people who motor everywhere (Im not one of those), people who are husband and wife teams who go out together and meet up with other couples at yacht clubs (im not one of those)
finding folks who simply want to nip across to france or the channel isles for the weekend for a beer and a crepe or for a cycle ride are like finding hens teeth.
Oh, and then this morning my iPad alarm didn't go off so I missed the first 45 minutes of the World Cup which was showing at the Denarau yacht club.
After the game, feeling fairly despondent having been surrounded by inebriated and euphoric Kiwis, I got back into the work dinghy, started the motor and made it all of thirty meters into the ferry bay when the f¥cker cut out on me. Ferry coming in, in full view of said Kiwis I drifted over to the wharf on what had to be the longest and most embarrassing fifty meter trip.
Got a tow out to Minke and faffed around with the spark plugs for an hour with blistered fingers from pulling the starter cord only to find out I had a rooted cut out switch.
Then I went back to bed!
Select to expand quotejapie said..
Sailed from Suva to Nadi two weeks ago and had a major balls up. Went to tighten the fan belt before sailing one morning and bust the alternator mounting bolts. When I found a set of easy outs I put too much pressure on and cracked the lug off the engine casing leaving a hole into the inner sanctum!
What is it Cisco is fond of pointing out? BOAT Bring Out Another Thousand!!!!
oof 
Select to expand quoteTheMisfit said..
I'm mistaken for a man frequently.....
I know what you mean about the Solent. I lived in Lymington whilst at Ag College in Winchester and used to pull ropes for an old chap out of the Lymington Yacht club. Met some knobs there! And drank far more than my fair share but never managed to get kicked out.
The sailing was wicked though, with those currents. Only place I've sailed where you can belt along and get nowhere!
I don't miss the cold. Which is one of the reasons I'm in Fiji. Only place Ive ever seen people surfing when it was snowing was in Bournemouth in 1981. Never saw anyone surfing there because there was rarely any waves. Except on that one day just before Xmas.
Mad bastards!
Select to expand quoteTheMisfit said..
japie said..
Sailed from Suva to Nadi two weeks ago and had a major balls up. Went to tighten the fan belt before sailing one morning and bust the alternator mounting bolts. When I found a set of easy outs I put too much pressure on and cracked the lug off the engine casing leaving a hole into the inner sanctum!
What is it Cisco is fond of pointing out? BOAT Bring Out Another Thousand!!!!
oof
Id devcon the hole up and mount the alternator off the engine mount bolt
What model motor is it Japie a timing gear cover maybe able to find one here some where a second hand replacement
I know all about B.O.A.T. all right
If I did find one you would own me more than two beers though
Might have few more stove spares for you to 
I'll pm you HG.
Don't want to hijack TheMisfits thread more than I have! Good idea about the engine mounting though, you've a wealth of good ideas.
Select to expand quotejapie said..
I'll pm you HG.
Don't want to hijack TheMisfits thread more than I have! Good idea about the engine mounting though, you've a wealth of good ideas.
yes she would keel haul both of us Id say . And that's a very out landish statement Japie
Select to expand quoteTheMisfit said..
UK southern sailors fall into categories: regatta racers (Im not one of those), people who never leave the solent area (Im not one of those), people who motor everywhere (Im not one of those), people who are husband and wife teams who go out together and meet up with other couples at yacht clubs (im not one of those) finding folks who simply want to nip across to france or the channel isles for the weekend for a beer and a crepe or for a cycle ride are like finding hens teeth.
Back when I lived in Fareham I had the same trouble as you in finding people to sail with; you're spot-on with the categorization.
Since then though, I got smart and found my way down to Sydney via a 20yr spell Canada. There's not nearly so much of the former categories, and far more of the latter. Find yourself down here; you won't have any trouble finding new sailing buddies.
Love your write up made me laugh out loud whilst sitting in a rather boring office situation haha...am also a live aboard tho to be fair still employed, but with a plan (in mind at least) to let go soon and bugger off north to (even) warmer climates...maybe hop across the big drink to see what the other side of the world is up to...indo and the guts of s.e asia are a definitive ares of interest at this stage anyways...
I've spent a few years in (not so) sunny UK...sailed the north and the irish and the channel seas in sometimes pretty cold and extremely foggy days but did enjoy it, almost managed to build up the brass bits to join in the jester challenge on then my lil 26 footer but can't say I be back anytime soon...so if you're ever down under ways then give us a shout, happily share a yarn or three, otherwise you never know what the stars will spit out and where one may end up (or with whom lol)
