How many ways to lose a race?

I am discovering there are many ways to lose a race.

If you can add a bit of humour to this topic it might be fun.

Leading in the last race of the Ladies Series last year, we were convinced that our race would be shortened due to lack of wind. We heard a muffled radio message that we took to this effect. After some discussion we changed course. We headed for our new mark and watched those 'idiots' continue on the 'old' course. It turned out the start boat had used the term 'shortening the race' in a discussing with one of the other racing boats but the raced was never shortened. We went from winning the series to fourth. Ouch!

First race for a while. Light air day, hovering around the 8-9 knots, but we only had 4 on board and a clean bum, so we're doing ok. We get to a longer leg, it's a broad reach, and grinning we pull out the really big lite air kite, perfect leg to pull some guys back in.
Kite is hoisted and set, and we chug along, diligently trimming and tweaking, keeping movement to a minimum, we're all dialled in and looking serious.
After about 30 mins, we're going backwards, I'm losing ground. Everything looked and felt wrong, we can't seem to trim the clew height, the kite luff is too tight and isn't behaving, so I start asking the guys to check everything.
A triumphant shout from the foredeck, they've put the aso on backwards. The tack is hanging 20 feet outside the boat, and my clew is snugly attached to the bowsprit (you could see it clearly written in BIG letters). I look at the crew, they look at me, and I here a sheepish "sorry mate, my boats symmetrical".
So much for us race hardened gurus being on the ball .

We were so far back no-one noticed, and It was light thankfully, we quietly unclipped the clew and the tack and swapped them on the next gybe.
Funny how an asymmetrical kite can be...well.....asymmetrical.

Had not long bought a brand new Columbia 27 which came with a pen at St. Kilda marina where there were a lot of Columbias and the Columbia Yacht Club. The club held races every Sunday ,very competitive,and usually myself ,brother and a mate took part.
My CEOs brother and sister in law who was a stunner had a Cheoy Lee motor penned there and on this Sunday came along ( not yachties) For a bit of fun.
We we're doing very nicely toward the front half way through the race in a fair breeze when Jane ducked down to the toot (head) . Now the enclosed head is amidships on the port side with an open wet weather gear locker opposite . We were on a starboard tack quite heeled over as Columbia's do when I called a lee ho ( tack) . We executed the tack nicely
as Jane came flying through the door out of the head ,pants down, straight opposite into the wet weather gear locker. Naturally ,being the bosses sister in law, I put the boat in irons and we all rushed down to check she was ok. We all had a cup of tea and a good laugh .
They never came again I wonder why.

Should rename this thread the confession booth.