This is almost beyond belief but, my board got sucked into the sewerage outlet pipe at sandgate (the pipes at the bottom of the tidal wall around the pool).
The tide was coming in and I left it on the sand after landing my kite. Unfortunately spent too much time having a chin wag and apparently the tide continued to come in, picked up the board, oriented it perfectly and sent it down the hole. I didn't see any of this but it's what some guy said (he was 50 metres away, happened to turn around and see it just as it disappeared)
I figure my chances are slim to none, and I'm also still laughing about this because it hasn't set in, but if anybody spots it (maybe it will get spat back out when the tide comes out? Maybe some kiteboarders also happen to be avid sewer explorers) please let me know!