With the predominant SE winds expected over the next month, some will be tempted to kite at the mouth of the Pumicestone Passage at Caloundra QLD.
Last weekend saw some awful near misses and stupid decisions from some not so experienced kiters. One guy was attempting to launch (several times) his obviously faulty kite with 12 people in his danger zone. 3 time his kite launched, looped and crashed within inches of 3 kids in the water. Another recent learner was attempting to teach someone on the sand with beach goers constantly walking past then nearly drowned his student in the outgoing current.
If you have never kited there before please note the following tips:
1. Caloundra only works on an outgoing tide. DON'T go in the water if the tide is coming in. Go somewhere else.
2. The massive outgoing current results in lots of lost boards and relaunch issues.
DON'T kite there if you are not good at body dragging, relaunching your kite or deep water self rescue.
3. The nett effect of opposing wind and current means a smaller kite can be used. DON'T put up your 12m bow kite if everyone else is on 8's and 9's.
4. We get 40+ kites out on a good day. If you haven't kited here before DON'T ignore the right of way rules and DON'T jump if there is someone within 50m of you downwind or 30m upwind.
5. DON'T kite anywhere near the flagged bathing zone on Bulcock Beach.
6. Large tides and big swell make the Caloundra Bar a treacherous zone. DON'T kite there if you aren't confident in the waves.
7. There are a couple of schools operating there when the conditions are appropriate. DON'T get too close to the students. DON'T teach your mates on the sand. Get in the water. DON'T kite here unsupervised if you are a novice.
8. The locals are a friendly bunch. DON'T hesitate to ask for advice, a launch or shout us a beer.
9. Please DON'T launch in dodgy situations in your impatience to get out. There are sharp rocks, pine trees and turbulent zones. Refer to commandment #8
10. DON'T f@#k it up for the rest of us. Your poor decisions, inexperience or arrogance will result in the wrong kind of attention. It costs you a carton of Tooheys Extra Dry for every lifeguard rescue. DON'T leave without paying them.
Anyone found to be transgressing the above commandments will feel the full fury of GRUMPY SAM!! He is our secret weapon against idiots, irresponsible noobs, arrogant euros and dickheads in general.
This notice has been posted in the interests of safety for all water users at Caloundra.
Kiting here is awesome but can be treacherous.
Don't tailgate a kiter to the beach then yell at him for turning!!! JT has a point. LOOK BEFORE YOU TURN, JUMP, LAUNCH, LAND 
Beware of El Mucho Grumpo
15/20 years ago I used to windsurf on the Caloundra bar
Hey Dave and Marcus,
All valid points. Even I succumbed to the nibbler last year!
BTW I have bought waterfront at Pelican Waters and we are planning our escape from the sandpit so expect to see more of me at your spot next year.
Want to bring a boat back with me - is a 27 footer too much for the Caloundra bar?
Cheers, Andy.
No rich girls in Finland Dave?
I've started a few business over the years and I can fully understand the red tape you have to cut through to get it off the ground. So yes Dave I can understand the Parameters in which you have had to work in. Good on you for being able to pull it off and make a living doing something you love or at least something you enjoy.
Great to here your going escape the pit Andy, reminds me of my escape back in 1989 from a pit of a different kind. Helen and I left Mt Isa (I was under ground mining)and bought land at the Sunny Coast, never looked back since. So will you be able to get work out of the Brizy airport? Cheers Marcus
Well it happened!! Some gonzo tried to teach his partner here. Gave her a kite and a board and left her to it while he kited. She crashed the kite, lost her board and got swept out into the bar in 3 metre waves. She got tangled and couldn't activate her qr. If it wasn't for the assistance of local kiters and the rescue lifeguards she would be dead. Even the rescue irb got tangled up and the crew ended up in the water.
Moral of the story? If you don't know the area, ask advice. Don't be a d1ckhead. We ask this moron, don't come here again. If you **** it up for the rest of us you'll get knuckled.
My apologies to the muppet gonzo for using your name in vain...
Please please please stay out of this zone if you don't know your stuff. This week will see heaps of wind. Morons will not be tolerated.
Not all, Marcus. I married the one non-gold-digger. She's from Chinchilla and can't wait to get back to Oz to live after 12 years in the sandpit.
Tolerated me going kiting the day she came home from hospital with our newborn.
That's a keeper!!
