UK Coastguard Intercepts French Radio Broadcast

A quiet moment in the Solent Coastguard radio room.

'Hey quick listen to this!'

'What? What? I'm drinking my tea - I'm on a break!'

'It's on the emergency channel, but they are speaking French!'

'French? In British waters?'

'Yes, but what are they saying?'

'How would I know, I don't speak French. Are they saying 'Mayday Mayday Mayday?

'No, eedyot, they're talking French'

'Well, we're supposed to be the Coastguard - maybe we should go guard the coast - you can never trust those French.'

'By ourselves?'

'Why - do you think it might be an Armada?'

'I think that was Spanish.'

'Well that's ruined my tea break. We'd better get out there. Call the Coastguard helicopter from Lee on Solent. What other vessels have we got?

'Well, Needles Coastguard might help and Yarmouth RNLI have a Lifeboat which is pretty good.'

'Get anyone you can, and see if you can find anyone who speaks French.'

'Just a moment, I just heard them say 'Jackpot'! Clear as day, in the middle of all the French gabble, they said 'Jackpot'!'

'Jackpot! They've won the Jackpot? Is that Britain? Or is it code for something? Very strange. Scramble all the boats and helicopters you can and let's get out there.'

'I'm on it sir!'

'and if you can't find someone who speaks French, try the red-phone radio, and speak to the French Command'

'You want me to speak to the FRENCH?'

'In times of emergency, officer, sacrifices are required.'

'YES SIR.'

French yacht Jackpot being rescued by UK Coastguard - .. .

PRESS RELEASE:
Solent Coastguard intercepted an urgency broadcast at 4.00 pm (Friday) from a vessel later found to be the French yacht Jackpot. Communications were difficult and the French Coastguard was requested to assist. The
Coastguard helicopter from Lee on Solent was scrambled, Needles Coastguard Rescue Team was despatched and Yarmouth RNLI Lifeboat was requested to launch.

When the helicopter and lifeboat arrived, they found the yacht, with two people on board, drifting towards a lee shore with a severely damaged rudder. The yacht was taken in tow by the lifeboat to Yarmouth.

Editor's Note: The imaginary exchange above the press release is fictitious, and bears no resemblance to the actions or the procedures of the real organisations depicted, nor of the officers employed by them

by Lisa Mylchreest